#4 Dissolution

 

“No I don’t mean that” I said

“Oh… Really” she replied

“That book is extremely awesome I recommend you to read that”

“Yeah I will I will read that sometime but right now I am reading a different one”

I was on a slow internet connection an Indian 2G so I tried to send a message but it failed several times and finally when It worked it returned with a reply you cannot send messages to this person.

For the next two days I thought of all the possible reasons for that and did all efforts to send a sorry message for replying late but the same response came from Facebook and finally I understood that she might have blocked me on messenger and I believed that she would unblock me sooner or later but finally my faith turned into frustration and then in anger and that anger kept on inspiring me to do something great from that day I used Facebook 99% lesser then I usually did increased my daily dose of biology and wanted to achieve more than anyone I know wanted to earn more reputation more money but actually was fet up of friends and it was the biggest turn my life would have ever taken not because of my migration but because of people’s attitude towards me but I never realized that this was not what I wanted. I was isolated soon people’s behavior and response became even harsh my anger increased and as this all was happening I stopped stepping outside my house my daily routine became home school and then again home which occasionally involved visiting soon I realized that I knew everything and I felt problem expressing that i started feeling that there is nothing left to do in world all this all what we humans have made and constructed are of no use they are nothing on the universal level that actually pushed me In a condition when thoughts of committing suicide came to my mind without any reason I started disliking anything and everything the this which I disliked most was stepping out of my room of that darkness my parents started worrying even more about me sometimes even day passed and I never stepped outside my room my habits changed instead of doing dinner with family I liked doing it doing television even after all this my diets remained same which made even more trouble since eating lot and no work made me fatter each day I felt like I was getting lazier since I realized that I was getting fat even then I disliked doing any hard work I even stopped doing the regular exercises which I used to do the life was becoming a burden but because of my family I slowly recovered of all this it was my father who forcefully sent me out to play my mother who send me out to meet other kids (however those kid were boring enough to send a healthy person to depression) greater improvement was seen when my sister returned home after finishing her b. tech and soon we launched our website gamewithtechnology.com which was earlier a Facebook page we made just for fun but as soon we launched it we started getting good public response but we had no ads to display but that worked good to keep me connected with rest of the world the only problem it created for me was the distraction it created in my life how it distracted me from studies. But since more than a month passed of all this even then I don’t forgot her she still came in my mind for more than 100 times I even now checked for if she would have unblocked me but because of all this I got even more rough and emotion less which I remained for left of my life one chronic effect she made in my life was that she provided my life a mission to win over everyone to achieve more than everyone also she changed my interests to a great extent my interest in Politics changed to a great extent also my taste of movies changed from Bollywood completely and Hollywood was my only taste by now I started disappearing form Facebook and What’s app for weeks and in KV I took moral from SMC and made no new friends neither I was in touch with the older ones that much all I liked was writing, reading and learning all other passions got fixed in a different category soon my category In class changed from a cool boy to geek the ones whom I disliked sometimes but they were not really that bad. In that time I started picturing my journal in a book and posing it as a daily update on wattpad.

 

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